How Boxing Helped Me Channel My Temper Into Something Positive
From hot temper to calm focus, boxing offers a powerful outlet for energy, teaching resilience, humility, and mental strength beyond the ring.
Rory Miller
Bio
Rory Miller is an American author and expert in self-defense, conflict management, and violence dynamics. He served for seventeen years in the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office in Portland, Oregon, including ten years as a sergeant. His assignments encompassed roles in Booking, Maximum Security, Disciplinary and Administrative Segregation, and Mental Health Units. Miller was also a member of the Corrections Emergency Response Team (CERT) for over eleven years, serving as Team Leader for six of those years.
Drawing from his extensive experience, Miller has authored several influential books that provide insights into the realities of violence and effective self-defense strategies. Notable works include:
- Meditations on Violence: A Comparison of Martial Arts Training and Real World Violence: This book examines the gap between martial arts training and actual violent encounters, offering readers a realistic perspective on self-defense.
- Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected: In this work, Miller addresses the complexities of violent situations and provides guidance on mental and physical preparation for unforeseen threats.
- Conflict Communication: A New Paradigm in Conscious Communication: Co-authored with Marc MacYoung, this book explores strategies for managing and de-escalating conflicts through effective communication techniques.
The minute you don a black belt, the minute you step in front of a class to teach, you are seen as an expert on violence. It doesn’t matter if you have absorbed a complete philosophical system with your martial art. It doesn’t matter if the art gave you, for the first time, the confidence to view the world as a pacifist. It doesn’t matter if you studied as a window to another age and culture. It doesn’t matter that you have found enlightenment in kata or learned to blend in harmony with the force of your attacker. It doesn’t matter because you are about to teach a martial art, an art dedicated to Mars, the God of War. A MARtial art. Even if somewhere over the years you have lost sight of this, your students have not.
The very essence of self-defense is a thin list of things that might get you out alive when you are already screwed.
If you can truly flip the switch from surprised, overwhelmed, and terrified to the assault mindset, I can’t teach you much.
Fitness does not always mean size and strength. People inexperienced at violence look at size first, muscle definition second. Experienced people look at movement.
The goal of self-defense is not to win a fight, but rather to avoid combat in the first place.
Self-defense is clearly my focus in this book. What is it? It is the recovery from stupidity or bad luck—from finding yourself in a position you would have given almost anything to prevent. It is difficult to train for because of the surprise element and the possibility of being injured before you are even aware of the conflict. The critical element is to overcome the shock and surprise so that you can act—to “beat the freeze.” Self-defense is about recovery. The ideal, however, is to prevent the situation altogether.